i got on the bus today and made my way to the crappy little village mall
went to winners and bought me a nice little leather bound book.
im thinking about writing
writing alot. maybe even a book for myself. ill start it anyways and we'll see how it goes.
haha
i feel kinda stupid saying it.
me, writing a book
lol
who knows, maybe ill blow the pants right off everyone with surprise!
maybe even myself..
i might not even realise how good i am, yet.
mike will be home soon to change, grab his walkie talkies and leave again
hes working downtown for the next few days
its so hard on him too.
working till 4 or later in the moring. gettin up to work at 8..
honest to god, i dont know why he does it..

les

pezzyann was fooled on 4:45 p.m..

You have never asked
to see me
You have not yet once requested a smile
a call ..
anything at alll
when it haven't benifeted you in some way
or another
my heart breaks
it's breaking right now
and youre moving on to some other
And you tell me you love me
you want me
you need me
untill youre done
then I am no one
and you leave
try to leave
But I've already left

pezzyann was fooled on 9:35 p.m..

ohhhh someone wrote something nasty on tammys blog!
the nerve!
i mean, its someones blog.. if you dont want to read them, dont
hah

at first i thought she was talking about my comment (me saying i didnt want to be her blog loveR) but then read on and i was like, what the heck? i wasnt that nasty in my comment.. sheesh..
then went back and read the comment someone made..

what i dont get though, is its a if someone was forcing them to read the blog.
*all dramatic with tears flying everywhere* your blog doesnt exist to me anymore! its over! over!!!! *hand on the forehead and falls to the bed as if to be weak from the heartache!*

haha
tidy pile
oh well
a word to the wise (is that right saying?) anyway
NEVEr put your towels out on a nice sunny wind-less day
they dry like frickin sandpaper.

ive been craving for strawberry milkshakes. the kind that come in the little carton. theyre impossible to find! so i just bought some pink cow mix
its not the same
not even close
but i got like 2 cartons of mike gone
haha

i guess thats it for now
pam and steph are coming over on saturday
were going to order in some food and were all (s, j , me p and s) gonna have a game of cranium. mike was going to join, but he has to work downtown now.
hmmm
i hate downtown

pezzyann was fooled on 8:18 p.m..

hmm one load in the wash, 20 more to go!
lol
i got 2 dark loads, one light and i was thinking about doing the bedsheets and blankets too
its a beautiful day so i can put most of it on the line
thats what i get for now washing clothes in a month
haha
ill update later

pezzyann was fooled on 12:51 p.m..

i just got back from T and d's house. its beautiful. theyre my age (a couple years older, actually) and theyve got everything.. theyre own house, beautiful leather couch sets, a uge dining room set with is just elegant and wonderful (is that spelled right??) its huge too.. even when mike sat down, hes legs wouldnt reach!
hah theyve got beautiful carpet, nice paint job, professional paintings on the walls a brand new rig in their driveway and a sweet little dog to boot.
cripes..
a whole little fmaily going on.
and here i am in a crappy rented house, i own a sofa set and thats it. oh, and now i own my bed. hah
im a little behind.
but im back here, green with envy

im going to work out a money plan for myself now. start gettin some things on my own

gotta get on the ball.. im not gettin any younger, thats for sure!

tomorrow is my last 6:45 shift.
thank the lord for that!
goodnight everyone.

pezzyann was fooled on 10:30 p.m..

hmm im not really in the mood to write.
just giving denise something to read tomorrow with her coffee and making it easier for tammy to be nosey
*smiles*

im not in a very good mood. ive been sick all day (my own fault, of course..) mrs flow came in town and i just feel crappy. unappreciated. ugly. unloved..

im sittin here listening to sad jann arden songs and singing all the words that she obviously wrote just for me. im thinking about work and about st johns and about gettin older (which, although i try, i cannot stop) jeff actually said yesterday he wishes he could stay 17 and stay at home with his mom and dad and live off them and go to school forever
and i agree. hes the only other person who actually said that first (without me bringing it up)
i alway wish that i could just stay young and at home.

im not being very nice to mike today and i know it.
im just pissed off at the whole world. pissed cause the house is gone and cause mom and dad left, pissed cause the situation im in.. pissed at myself for lettin myself get there..

im listening to cat stevens now, which is as depressing and good ol jann.
mike is in the living room watching tv, im sittin here by myself.
i spent a good part of the day today cleanin this room that is ALWAYS a mess. i tried really hard and held my tears back.

i need an atasol


*theres nothing left to say
I said it anyway
and I want you not
i need you not
Im dying ... cause this is the saddest song I got*

pezzyann was fooled on 6:28 p.m..

Jam jams for breakfast are great.
mmmmm
I have today off.. i have nothing to do. except go to the bank and pay off my entire visa! lol
get that out of the way right away!
and then put the rest of my money in the bank and keep it there. so it will take me longer to spend then normal
hah

yesterday was pretty hard for me. who knew?? when i was younger i was always like, i cant wait to get away from home! i cant wait to live on my own! i cant wait to live away from my parents....
my heart just seriously broke when they left.
and opps, im crying now...
but jenn came in yesterday with happy face balloons full of floating stuff (i cant spell the H word) to make us all laugh and b happy.
her kindness just make me cry even more! i was so touched. i just hugged her a took huge breaths of her hair and cried even more.
it was a very sad day for me.
the whole day..
i knew it was coming.

anyways i guess thats it for right now. its only 10:22 in the moring. i guess ill get dressed (not in a skirt cause its windy!!) and run over to the bank. i gotta stop into shoppers too to get some things.
then ill come home and do nothing all day!
maybe write in my actual journal for a bit. maybe watch another movie...
maybe just sit quietly with myself for a while. ill have the house allll to myself today.

now i wont have to go to the bathroom when i get upset...
10 months pregnant and poppin atasol i tell you.
thats what its like.
maybe i should take those pills the doctor gave me. cant get any worse then what i am already.

I wish i lived close to a little bar (that was always busy.. all hours of the day)
I think i would always be there.
i might be there right now.
who knows.

pezzyann was fooled on 10:16 a.m..

the bbq went okay. not many people from work showed up. but i had my friends over, jamie had a couple of his, sal brought over a couple and a few from work came... so we had a fine crowd here!
the party was on the deck! i was so drunk i couldnt feel any cold and the pouring rain was nothing but sound effects.
jenn cooked up a hugewonderful feist! (is that how you spell it?) took right over the bbq (god love her) and fed us all!
i didnt know the girl could bbq! (she doesnt know it yet, but shell do the bbqing from now on.. heh)

im still on 6:45s for now. next week though, im moving down to 8:15 am. which is also fine for me.still early, still get off early. its all good.

mom and dad just left. to move to NB
not as hard as i had imagined! i had myself worked up allll day though not to cry. didnt work. as soon as dad hugged me i burst. but thats no surprise. ive been crying like a 10 month along pregnant lady on atasol. durning the openning of dads gifts for fathers day he cried
so i had to leave the room and chill out
playing cards last night he cried.
i had to leave and compose myself. lol
lord knows he was crying! i wonder who i get it from!

anyways thats all for an update
i must run along. i think mike wants to go to walmart and id love to have a smoke after my little tear fest!

take care

pezzyann was fooled on 7:33 p.m..

okay
allllll freekin week, it was saying sunny! its gonna be sunny! it will be sunny and 17 degrees!
ZERO % chance of rain.
it wont rain cause it will be god damn sunny!
yesterday it suddenly changed
in the middle of no where, it changed!
so theyre like, 'yeah.. we were wrong. no sun on saturday. were gonna have showers."

fine
showers
i can live with that.. only a 40% change of showers too. technically, thats a fail (in school) so might not even happen

and now
now
im so pissed
now, theyre calling for just rain!
rain!
4 fuckin days ago it was sunny with NO GOD HOPIN CHANCE OF RAIN
and now, 72 freekin hours later, it says rain!

WHY?!?!
why have a god damn 7 day forecast if its not even the SLIGHTEST bit reliable?

im pissed
pissed i tell you!

god hates me
and thats obvious


*its raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring
went to bed, bumped his head and never got up till morning*

pezzyann was fooled on 4:37 p.m..

i forgot to mention
me and jenn went to bingo last night!!
i had the time of my life!
it was so funny!

-not the actual playing, but the night in general

those old ladies took everything so seriously!
all you could here was 'dab dab dab dab dab' while they went crazy after their bingo cards
and i swear to go, all i could do was handle one.

the old ladies sat down snacking on their baggies full of cheesies and sip their drinks from their paper cups and just bathed in the flood of numbers that were all over the place!

my eyes were scannin every card.
i dont think i took a breath untill i had all my # dabed
THEN i would just gasp untill he called out the next one.

it was way to stressful for me

haha
when i wrote this it was like 5.
i just woke up from a nap and now its 10:11!
(bring me back to overnihgts! shesh!!)
so no i will post.
goodnight to all

pezzyann was fooled on 5:18 p.m..

so i told M about L cheating on her.
she wrote back with a short response saying K is a slut and have been trying to break them up for months.
L called M at work at flipped out asking him questions.
he flipped out on K and k went to jamie and said, "tell you bitch of a friend to stay out of my life" (she was referring to me)
so needless to say i marched right the fuck up to K and was like,
'listen here, i couldnt care less about your life but when there shit going on that invloves my friend and my friend gettin hurt, then it is my business to tell her and i dont care who you are.

anyways she came up after telling me she was just upset earlier and shes not mad and stuff. and i was all like listen i dont have time for you bull.
and to make the whole matter worse, i told M and big long story about something, she TOTALYL mixed it up. i was like whatever! i told you cause i thought it was the right thing to do now im done! like im not gettin in the middle of it!

oh! the drama! i tell you!
sheesh!

im finall off! im off for 3 full days! im so happy. i thought today would never end!but here i am.
i got a weird thing going on with my neck now. and last night i had my first muscle spasm. (i guess thats what theyre called)
the muscle in my calf just pulled tight (or apart) and it was sooooooooo painful!
i woke up right out of my sleep and gasp and i was like ouch!!!! my eg!

(all i could think of were amy and her toe spasms and i should not have laughed when she had them)
they really hurt!

so i guess one could say i was a spasm virgin untill some bitch ferry came and blessed me with one last night.
hah

bitch ferry...

sheesh

pezzyann was fooled on 4:26 p.m..

Work again.Its 8 in the morning. i cant in at 6:45. i checked my sche when i came in and it said lunch at 10:30. i was like, hat, 10:30?? that cant be right! lol but it is. its actually 4 hours into my shift at 10:30. haha
i have a feeling this is gonna work out alright. the rides are a little shakey though. like im car poolin with jason, and if he got vaca or whatever. then i have to do the most dreaded thing... WALK.

haha i dont think so. lugging my chunky ass up the hill at 6 in the morning.

heLLo!! (its caramel)

anyways.. onto something else.
hah

im in a good mood. theres like 20 min between calls, the bbq plans are going well. all is well. ive been on a call now though, missy just came up asking for the account #. i was like, why?? she said if youve been on the call more then 10 min they need the account #i was like sensible. what do they need to do? investigate it?10 whole minutes on ONE call! someone shoot me now for failing to be a fast troubleshooter. she has gone past her 620 seconds! someone get out the hurry-up stick and poke her till she bleeds!

ive been waiting on someone in floor support. im always waiting on someone in floor support, theyve got ONE person stuck down there. like what the hell. theres a good 70 people here this morning and ONE person on floor support.im soon gonna get MY 'get the lead out' stick and do some heavy duity pokin! (how do you spell duity? duty? dutie? haha denile.)

lol

oh i wonder when mike will EMERGE haha deb. so smart. but wasting all her big words on me! i dont understand them. so it doesnt impress me lol

no one else seems to be in today. im sittin here in the row by myself. with gas. (which is probably why no one is sittin next to me) haha

i got heart burn like a mofo. ive had heart burn for the last week. and a tooth ache to boot. ouchie!

i went shopping last night and spent a fortune, im bringing back 2 tops though. bought on a whim for sure. and im starting to think twick about these pants i got on too.
i gotta learn to stay the hell out of walmart! that place will be the death of me, i tell you.

hmmm do you know what i heard? (and why this is even coming up, i dont know) but an engagement ring should cost 4 months salary of the person working.
what the hell!
who can afford a 5000$ ENGAGEMENT ring?!?!im all like, i saw some nice ones for 200 in the seas catalog! hahi mean, id be afraid to wear something that expensive! id lose it for sure. then im screwed!

again with the, "which cord is the powercord"
like stop and fuckin think about it! what one LOOOOOOOKS like a P O W E R C O R D? have you ever screwed in your toaster? "oh hunny, screw in the cofee maker! i want some coffee!
"like seriously. think before you let your jaws flappin all over the place.
it just blows me away. every day i come in here and im amazed at how stupid these americans can be. (not all americans, of couse, i do have some wonderful calls..)
but 95% of out customers and just something else. cant even put words on it. their so ignorant to everything. "newfoundland! i bet you have a lot of cables coming in there to power up your computers. Do you guys have electricity?" thats the EXACT sentence he said. to me. i was like, man, just say that slowly to yourself again.

I just had a huge bith on the phone telling me she was principal of 1400 students and 2 of them got in a fight so she cant be home for the tech blah blah blah
i was like well, i cant guarentee the tech will be there cause if no one is home to answer, it might be cancelled.
shes like, "dont you threaten me!!" i was like tidy pile missy. pitty your students. i bet your old and ugly. hah
bitter ol bag.
at the end of the call she was like, thank you, thank you thank you all snotty not lettin me finish. so i was like alrighty then, release!

(yes tammy, i released!i got real nervous and felt a little sick after and everythinghahaim such a wussbut i can say the call was clearly over. count it as a moment of missery for not saying my closinghahfuck it. whatta ya do. )

im evil.

pezzyann was fooled on 9:48 a.m..

you tell me im beautiful
and then you leave
"you got shit to do"
yeah, well fuck you too

cause i never believed you anyway

pezzyann was fooled on 5:54 p.m..

I'm just wondering what she has that I dont..
Why her.
Why not me?
What is it about her ? ...

I'm going now, to look for compliments
artifical love
I know you dont mean it all anyway

Every sad song was sung for me tonight
while I put you in the back of my mind
and
she was wrong
shes is wrong
and I know that I am right

pezzyann was fooled on 7:58 p.m..

i am at work again. its saturday morning. and not busy at allprais the lord! i dont think i can handle a Q todaythis is day one of 6! yowza...

me and jamie were talking about the big bbq were going to have this weekend. he was going to have it at his place, but i think we'll have it at mine instead. we got the big patito and yard and stuff for it. not to mention the bbq. jamie was going to have it but he doesnt have a deck, bbq or any space. haha his living room and bedroom are the size of just my bedroom. hahahso i think my place would be a little better. and most people live closer to me as well.
so im excited about that. were gonna have lights and chairs and its GOING to be warm! (ill make it!)
wouldnt it be perfect if it was nice and warm and everyone showed up and there was music and food and laughing and stuff
that would be so nice.
theres about 20 poeple invited. hah

i have the option to start work whenever i want. im thinking 6:45 am. (depending on the ride situation) if i can get a ride up in the mornings, itll be perfect! gettin off at 3:15 every day... that would be wonderful for summer! lots of time to tan.. and my shift will be half over when it starts to get busy.. so the moring should be smooth sailin ahha
i cant believe i just said smooth sailing
lol
man im a dork

i have a man talking about about intel chips and stuff. like what the heck is that? lol

i created my own account on hi5! all by myself, no help needed! some proud!
only thing is, it sent this thing to EVERYONE on my list... lol did not know that would happen

pezzyann was fooled on 10:08 a.m..

and she swears theres nothing wrong
i hear her play the same old song
she puts me up and puts me on
had a bad day again
said i would not understand
left a note and said im sorry i
had a bad day again

ohhhhh


youre clothes never wear as well the next day
and your hair never falls in quit the same way
you never seem to run oiut of things to say
this is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned th whole world
well she looks so sad in photographs
but i absolutely love her
when she smiles

so far down
maybe you were thinking about jumping
you could have it all
if you learned a little patience
and though i cannot fly
i am no content to crawl

but its always to late when you got nothing
so you say
then you should never let the sunset on tomorrow
before the sun rises today

if i am another waste of everything you dreamed of
i wont let you down
i wont let you down

pezzyann was fooled on 10:19 p.m..

im at work again.
i dont understand these people.
that was my third call in a row (my only frist three calls) where people has gotten so confused over themselves that they eventually
just hang up.my frist call was this small creepy voice,
"we have a homepage"
i was like, okay...
"how do we copy it??" the creepy voice said and i was like what the hell?
what kind of homepage do you have?
"a personal one.."
"okay, what kind though? like is it with comcast? whats the address?"
"how do you get to it?" she asks...
"get to your homepage? whats the address?"
"thank you, bye .. "
and she hung up! i was like oh man, weirdo.

then my next call was a gruffy man and he was like,
'modem or wireless first?"
i was like, for a powercycle?
he said yeah..

like come off it!

but what REALLY makes me sick and what really convinces me that 90% of americans are stun, is the fact that NONE of them know what a power cord is! have ANY of you ever SCREWED in a powercord?!?! come on! whats a powercord? is that the screw in one?
well lets see, do you screw in your toaster?? or your hair dryer or something? honest to god! it just amazes me how these people dont even think before they speak.. blows me away.

sheesh

enough work talk for one day. (or for one post, anyway) hah
i'll be murdered if im cought doing this at work.
but on the upside, if they murder me, i obviously wont have to come to work anymore.. so i would have a sweet ass loooong vaca.
that would be hot

everyone is going bowling tonight.
i canNOt wait! i love bowling. im right in the mood too. i always fall though! which is sometimes funny
they say i fall in slow motion though, which seems weird.. but its all for fun. and i cant wait!
anyways i guess ill be off. gonna have to post this really quickly. i get a little nervous when i do this at work
heheh
chicken me

gone


something else that drives me insane, (and im mentioning it because i just had the call) when you ask someone to unplug the powercord, theyll say,"powercord?? it doesnt have a powercord!" no by'. its run on solar power.
hah terd.

sheesh

pezzyann was fooled on 12:11 p.m..

Ohmy! all im gonna say is peter. haha
Robyn and jamie knows what im talking about!
i cant believe i got him to take off his clothes on george street! (and then we left) hahah
he was fun though. he totally made my night. and it felt SOOO good to have someone tell me i was beautiful. (even if he did just wanna get some) lol
the cab ride home was also as fun. loves the russians! now that i mention it, does anyone know what size feet 42 in russa is? hah
thats hott.

Mom and dad are in now and i love it. they have done so much for us already! fixing the door, bought us some things, got us a bbq, you name it.. theyve been wonderful. i wish they were moving here in town and not to nb...
like i said to jamie, all my family is slowly (but surely) leaving me so he has to be my family now..
he said he would. i hope he doesnt forget.

I had a crazy ass nose bleed today. the blood was just pouring from my nose at one point. (kinda like someone had hit me in the face with a bat or something) lol
really.. what a mess. hah
ive been having little nose bleeds for the last couple weeks, but this was something else! sheesh!

im in a bit of a sad mood tonight. sittin here, listening to my sad songs..
just wanna cry a little bit maybe. get rid of it all





"how do you say
ive always felt this way
this is where i live
this is what i do best .... "

pezzyann was fooled on 10:14 p.m..

here i am. again. at work. its 9:10 in the morning and im sweating like a fat french ho at confession. like, constantly wipping my forehead. (and i NEVER sweat like that, ewww)
Im drinking a wicked coffee (which may be making me warm) but its sooo good. im not a huge coffee drinking, but for someone like me gettin up 8:30 in the morning.. i need one.

There is like no one here today.

i just got another call. its kinda busy here for 9 on a saturday morning.. eek.
this man called in, cant get online
notes on account says

06/01 - cant get online. powercycled, online
06/02 - cant get online, powercycled, online
05/13 - cant get online. powercycled, online
05/20 - cant get online. powercycled, online
05/28 - cant get online. powercycled. online

think hed get the idea to powercycle. hah
probably not though. he doesnt seem to be all there. i just asked him to restart his computer and he came back, sounding surprised i had asked, "all of it???"
nope. were gonna reset HALF of that computer and save the other half for later.

ive been feeling really brave lately.
when coming in from break, me and jamie were walking to our seats and there was a training class waiting to find people to y-connect with. (thats when they plug into your phone and listen for practice) anyways, i picked the cuttest one there and said, 'i want him..' and then pointed to some freaky girl and said, 'jamie wants her'
and they followed
*giggles*
so i was sittin with a cutie for an hour.

but i live with a cutie all the time, so. its all good. hehe

06/04 - cant get online. powercycled, online.

im good. damn im good.
*blows on finger nails and polishes them on shirt*

haha i think thats what you do. seems right anyways. hah

this is gonna be a long day. i can tell because i havent been here for an hour yet and it seems like 4. maybe ill make this 2 posts so its not just one huge one.
i lose interest if the post is too crazy long.
lol
naw. i wont. cause then youll read # 2 first and then go on to # 1. cause thats the wonderful order they go in when edited. sheesh.

im wearing my cheap thong sandals. ohh i hope i dont get a violation.
even in all my bravery im still to scared to download web-messager. or msn web. whatever its called.
hah
chickenshit.

i bet you all thought of that alanis morissette song...

"Im free but Im focused Im green but Im wise Im hard but Im friendly baby!
Im sad but Im laughing Im brave but Im chickenshit Im sick but Im pretty baby"

pezzyann was fooled on 9:09 a.m..