Thursday, July 19, 2007
He always wanted to explain things.
But no one cared.
So he drew.
Sometimes he would draw,
and it wasn't anything.
He wanted to carve it in stone
or write it in the sky,
and it would only be him and the sky and
the things inside him that needed saying.
It was after that he drew the picture.
It was a beautiful picture.
He kept it under his pillow
and would let no one see it.
When it was dark and his eyes were closed,
he could still see it.
He would look at it everynight
and think about it.
When he started started school,
he brought it along with him.
Not to show anyone,
just to have along like a friend.
It was funny about school.
He sat at a square, brown desk,
like all the other square, brown desks.
He thought it should be red.
And his room was a square, brown room
like all the other rooms.
It was tight and close and stiff.
He hated to hold the pencil and chalk,
his arms stiff, his feet flat on the floor,
stiff,
the teacher watching and watching.
The teacher spoke to him.
She told him to wear a tie
like all the other boys.
He said he didnt like them.
She said it didn't matter!
after that, they drew.
He drew all yellow.
It was the way he felt about the morning,
and it was beautiful.
The teacher came and smiled at him.
"whats this?" she said, "why dont yo
draw something like ken is drawing?
Isn't that beautiful?"
After that his mother bought him a tie,
and he alwayd drew airplanes and rocketships
like everyone else.
And he threw the old picture away.
And when he lay alone looking at the sky,
it was big and blue and all of everything,
but he wasnt anymore.
He was sqaure inside and brown,
and his hands were stiff.
He was like everyone else.
The things inside that needed saying
didn't need it anymore.
It had stopped pushing.
It was crushed.
Stiff.
Like everything else.
But no one cared.
So he drew.
Sometimes he would draw,
and it wasn't anything.
He wanted to carve it in stone
or write it in the sky,
and it would only be him and the sky and
the things inside him that needed saying.
It was after that he drew the picture.
It was a beautiful picture.
He kept it under his pillow
and would let no one see it.
When it was dark and his eyes were closed,
he could still see it.
He would look at it everynight
and think about it.
When he started started school,
he brought it along with him.
Not to show anyone,
just to have along like a friend.
It was funny about school.
He sat at a square, brown desk,
like all the other square, brown desks.
He thought it should be red.
And his room was a square, brown room
like all the other rooms.
It was tight and close and stiff.
He hated to hold the pencil and chalk,
his arms stiff, his feet flat on the floor,
stiff,
the teacher watching and watching.
The teacher spoke to him.
She told him to wear a tie
like all the other boys.
He said he didnt like them.
She said it didn't matter!
after that, they drew.
He drew all yellow.
It was the way he felt about the morning,
and it was beautiful.
The teacher came and smiled at him.
"whats this?" she said, "why dont yo
draw something like ken is drawing?
Isn't that beautiful?"
After that his mother bought him a tie,
and he alwayd drew airplanes and rocketships
like everyone else.
And he threw the old picture away.
And when he lay alone looking at the sky,
it was big and blue and all of everything,
but he wasnt anymore.
He was sqaure inside and brown,
and his hands were stiff.
He was like everyone else.
The things inside that needed saying
didn't need it anymore.
It had stopped pushing.
It was crushed.
Stiff.
Like everything else.
pezzyann was fooled on 8:22 p.m..
Monday, July 16, 2007
I saw him - Gorgeous
(as if there was any other way to be)
i read what she said. her. her.
this is crazy.
way to much
you belong to someone.
you dont really love me...
its ok.
- trust me -
i dont love me either.
xo
(as if there was any other way to be)
i read what she said. her. her.
this is crazy.
way to much
you belong to someone.
you dont really love me...
its ok.
- trust me -
i dont love me either.
xo
pezzyann was fooled on 4:28 a.m..
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
And it sure aint easin my pain.. all these songs about rain.
its not lettin me put a title in there tonight. so theres my title.
im a little sad tonight.
listenin to this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rULQNIEX_6k and thinking about fort mac. this song is me and robyn sittin on the deck with out cigarettes and our wine. sittin in the heat with our feet up. this is us dancing at the newfie club. this song is me and nikita dancing at the oil can and she spins me.
she spins me
she spins me
she spins me
and something feels like i havent stopped spinning. (how corny is that)
corny but true.
sometimes i close my eyes and i feel like when i open them, ill be in my old room, with my green sheets and clothes on the floor. i have work at 3, so i have to get up and get supper and lunches ready for before i go. its tuesday which means tomorrow is cheap night at the O.C
me and robyn will get off work and get dressed up (or sometimes not ) and well go and get cheap booze and stay out untill 2 am dancing and laughing and sometimes crying. we'll get nikita on the go after she gets off work and get her drinkin with us. shell get angry at least once throughout the night. we'll make her feel better, guys will flock towards us, drinks will be sent out way. the band will sing for us. towards us. all the good songs like wild angles. nikita will sing so loud to that one. they will point and smile and we will gush and be happy and that will be ok.
she spins me
she spins me
on that little tiny dance floor. well say, man, we got work in 5 hours.
we'll laugh.
we'll come home and eat weiners out of coffee filters (cause there were no clean bowls) or eat spinach soup or old sour rice or chicken corn chowder.
well laugh and say we have work in 4 hours.
we will be drunk in the morning.
we will laugh....
we'll make a story. make a memory. a picture in my head.
this song is nikita in a tank top, with her double lamb and cokes, grabbing my hand and twirling me on the dance floor.
were the only ones there..
but the song ends and here i am sittin on my bed with the checkered sheets and cooey is up there and i am down here and lets face it... guys just arent that interested.
maybe its me comin down thats making me sad. maybe its the damn song that i cant stop listening to. maybe its 3:16 am and i just cant sleep and im tired.
i just thought i would be more then this..
thats what that song it.
fuck.
*blue eyes crying in the early morning rain. they go on and on and theres no 2 the same. oh, it would be easy to blame all these songs about rain*
its not lettin me put a title in there tonight. so theres my title.
im a little sad tonight.
listenin to this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rULQNIEX_6k and thinking about fort mac. this song is me and robyn sittin on the deck with out cigarettes and our wine. sittin in the heat with our feet up. this is us dancing at the newfie club. this song is me and nikita dancing at the oil can and she spins me.
she spins me
she spins me
she spins me
and something feels like i havent stopped spinning. (how corny is that)
corny but true.
sometimes i close my eyes and i feel like when i open them, ill be in my old room, with my green sheets and clothes on the floor. i have work at 3, so i have to get up and get supper and lunches ready for before i go. its tuesday which means tomorrow is cheap night at the O.C
me and robyn will get off work and get dressed up (or sometimes not ) and well go and get cheap booze and stay out untill 2 am dancing and laughing and sometimes crying. we'll get nikita on the go after she gets off work and get her drinkin with us. shell get angry at least once throughout the night. we'll make her feel better, guys will flock towards us, drinks will be sent out way. the band will sing for us. towards us. all the good songs like wild angles. nikita will sing so loud to that one. they will point and smile and we will gush and be happy and that will be ok.
she spins me
she spins me
on that little tiny dance floor. well say, man, we got work in 5 hours.
we'll laugh.
we'll come home and eat weiners out of coffee filters (cause there were no clean bowls) or eat spinach soup or old sour rice or chicken corn chowder.
well laugh and say we have work in 4 hours.
we will be drunk in the morning.
we will laugh....
we'll make a story. make a memory. a picture in my head.
this song is nikita in a tank top, with her double lamb and cokes, grabbing my hand and twirling me on the dance floor.
were the only ones there..
but the song ends and here i am sittin on my bed with the checkered sheets and cooey is up there and i am down here and lets face it... guys just arent that interested.
maybe its me comin down thats making me sad. maybe its the damn song that i cant stop listening to. maybe its 3:16 am and i just cant sleep and im tired.
i just thought i would be more then this..
thats what that song it.
fuck.
*blue eyes crying in the early morning rain. they go on and on and theres no 2 the same. oh, it would be easy to blame all these songs about rain*
pezzyann was fooled on 2:57 a.m..
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Crouched down on a rooftop
in my mothers high heeled shoes
i am wondering if i will drop
and fly away with you
i can smell the rain coming
but i wont leave until it falls
im gonna soak in its downpour
until i hear my mothers calls
cause i am playing god
i am raising hell as far as i can tell
i am all alone
alone in this world
alone with you
i carry spring rain in my hair
weighted sorrow in perfect clouds
bursting in the air
wash away and drown
i am playing god
i am raising hell as far as i can tell
i am all alone
alone in this world
alone with you
the roof slips beneath my feet
as the branches back away from me
the softest grass turns to concret
but i will fly
i will fly
you will see...
cause i am playing god
i am raising hell as far as i can tell
i am all alone
alone in this world
alone
such a beautiful beautiful sad song. download it. amazing
in my mothers high heeled shoes
i am wondering if i will drop
and fly away with you
i can smell the rain coming
but i wont leave until it falls
im gonna soak in its downpour
until i hear my mothers calls
cause i am playing god
i am raising hell as far as i can tell
i am all alone
alone in this world
alone with you
i carry spring rain in my hair
weighted sorrow in perfect clouds
bursting in the air
wash away and drown
i am playing god
i am raising hell as far as i can tell
i am all alone
alone in this world
alone with you
the roof slips beneath my feet
as the branches back away from me
the softest grass turns to concret
but i will fly
i will fly
you will see...
cause i am playing god
i am raising hell as far as i can tell
i am all alone
alone in this world
alone
such a beautiful beautiful sad song. download it. amazing
pezzyann was fooled on 5:00 p.m..
Monday, July 02, 2007
So here i am. its been a while since i wrote anything. the last 2 weeks have been sketchy for Goober and I. lots of drinking. too much drinkin. so now its time for a break. (untill next tuesday when i get paid again cause i am broke ass)
im lonely tonight. i flicked between the movies titanic and american history x (focusing really on american history x. titanic was for commercials) not a good idea to watch either when your lonely. american history x is graphic and at times nasty, but the ending is sad. so here i am having a little cry for myself listening, of course, to sad songs. loves me a bit of raining in baltimore
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6YYbitkugQ
click there and hear it. amazing.
fuck im lonely tonight. I miss Mike. This doesnt get easier.
its nights like this where i havent slept in days and all i can do is think about shit. think about time. think about sleeping all alone. time
time for sleeping
time for working
time for school
time for me
never seems to be enough time... lots of mistakes... but never enough time.
sometimes i think this is all wrong. theres been a mix up. THIS IS ALL WRONG
*you get what you pay for but i just had no intention of living this way*
I got into school for september doing photographic studies. i dont know if it will get me anywhere. (i dont know if i can get MYSELF anywhere) if EI will put me through that would be good. it will buy me another year anyway to figure shit out. figure what out exactly? i dont know. i havent really figured that part out yet either. im so fucked without sleep.
ohmygod. im watching them make porn on tv. the poor girl was like, "the sex part is ok, its the fuckin script" im like wtf. girl, all she got to say is yes yes oh baby stick it in my ass, you like that?
haha really. if you cant remember to say that while you ACTUALLY havin sex then somethings not right.
anyway thats all i got to complain or bitch about for now. id say with more time on my hands ill be updating more.
*theres things i remember and things i forget. i miss you. i guess that i should. 3,500 miles away and what would you change if you could*
i didnt know you hurt so bad
you just always seemed so mad
you say im something you cant fix
im lonely tonight. i flicked between the movies titanic and american history x (focusing really on american history x. titanic was for commercials) not a good idea to watch either when your lonely. american history x is graphic and at times nasty, but the ending is sad. so here i am having a little cry for myself listening, of course, to sad songs. loves me a bit of raining in baltimore
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6YYbitkugQ
click there and hear it. amazing.
fuck im lonely tonight. I miss Mike. This doesnt get easier.
its nights like this where i havent slept in days and all i can do is think about shit. think about time. think about sleeping all alone. time
time for sleeping
time for working
time for school
time for me
never seems to be enough time... lots of mistakes... but never enough time.
sometimes i think this is all wrong. theres been a mix up. THIS IS ALL WRONG
*you get what you pay for but i just had no intention of living this way*
I got into school for september doing photographic studies. i dont know if it will get me anywhere. (i dont know if i can get MYSELF anywhere) if EI will put me through that would be good. it will buy me another year anyway to figure shit out. figure what out exactly? i dont know. i havent really figured that part out yet either. im so fucked without sleep.
ohmygod. im watching them make porn on tv. the poor girl was like, "the sex part is ok, its the fuckin script" im like wtf. girl, all she got to say is yes yes oh baby stick it in my ass, you like that?
haha really. if you cant remember to say that while you ACTUALLY havin sex then somethings not right.
anyway thats all i got to complain or bitch about for now. id say with more time on my hands ill be updating more.
*theres things i remember and things i forget. i miss you. i guess that i should. 3,500 miles away and what would you change if you could*
i didnt know you hurt so bad
you just always seemed so mad
you say im something you cant fix
pezzyann was fooled on 12:58 a.m..